"A man walks into a pub" ...

[Debillus]

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This white horse walks into a pub and asks for a pint of lager. The barman looks at him and says, "'Ere, we've got a whisky named after you." The white horse looks confused and says, "What - Dobbin?"

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A man walks into a bar and hears piano music. He looks at the piano and can't see anyone sitting there, so he walks over and discovers a foot-tall man standing on the piano bench playing away. The man thinks this is strange so he goes over to the barman and asks where the little bloke came from. "Here," says the bartender, handing the man a lamp, "rub this." So the man rubs the lamp and out comes this genie. "What do you wish for?" asks the genie. "A million bucks," the man states, quite sure of himself. "Granted." And the genie claps his hands and disappears back into the lamp. The man looks around, checks his wallet but can't find a million bucks anywhere. Just that moment, a million ducks fly through the bar. Astounded the man says: "Hey! I didn't ask for a million ducks!" "Do you think that I asked for a 12 inch pianist?" replies the bartender.

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A man rushes into a bar, orders the four most expensive 30-year-old single malts in the house and has the barman line them up in front of him. Then without pausing, he quickly downs each one. "Whew," the barman remarks, "You seem to be in a hurry." "You would be too if you had what I have," the man replies. "Why, what do you have?" the barman asks sympathetically. "Fifty pence."

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A plate of Bacon and Eggs walks into a pub. The barman says, "Sorry, we don't serve breakfast."

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Man walks into a pub and the barman says to him, "Mate, you've got a steering wheel down your pants. That must be painful." The man replies "Yeah, it is. It's driving me nuts!"

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Man walks into a pub with a roll of tarmac under his arms and says, "Pint please, and one for the road."

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A man walks into a pub with a giraffe on a lead. "I'll have a pint of Guinness" says the man "and ten pints for the giraffe". The man then starts to down his pint in one go. The giraffe, seeing this, starts banging down the ten pints like there was no tomorrow. The race is on! The man gets half way down and the Giraffe's only on number four. Then, with an amazing burst of speed, the giraffe just manages to scrape ahead. But on pint number ten the giraffe gets half-way, then falls off the bar stool, and passes out on the floor. The man promptly finishes his pint and starts to leave. "Hey," says the barman "you can't leave that lyin' there!" Says the man: "It's not a lion, it's a giraffe."

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[Slam]

Two men walk into a bar, ouch that must have hurt.